Public Embarrassment

In about ten years, I'll be able to repay them. But, for now, when I go out in public with the girls, it ends up being me who gets embarrassed. Usually, it's while we're shopping, but really, any public forum will do.

This past weekend, I had to run into to Target really quickly before church, and Jayson wanted to get us some coffee from Starbucks. So, we decided to divide and conquer. He took Charlie, I took Lydia and Audrey. Since time was an issue, I put Lydia in the back of the cart and Audrey in the front, and we took off. One stop was in the feminine products aisle, where I grabbed a box of purple tampons. Shortly thereafter, while booking it down the main aisle of Target, Lydia held them high above her head and asked me what they were. I told her to put them down and I would tell her later. "Highlighters, Mommy? They're highlighters?" Yes, dear. Highlighters.

Target is a frequent hot spot of mine. I enjoy visits at least weekly. One time I walked through the lingerie section and Lydia, who was two at the time, excited pointed to the racks of bras and yelled, "Mommy's boobies! Mommy's boobies!"

As she got older, she become more inquisitive of other people. We once passed a lesbian couple, both of whom were short and sported very masculine looks, including basketball shorts and baseball caps. Lydia very loudly asked me where those boys' mother was and why there were alone in the store.

Lydia also went through a stage of being obsessed with hair length and would see men with long hair and women with short hair and question their choices (I admit -- I questioned their choices too, just not out loud). "Mommy, is that a boy or a girl? A boy? Why is his hair long like a girl's?"

One time around Christmas, I was shopping with Lydia, and she was just over 1.5 years old. We were at Old Navy and she saw some teddy bears and excitedly pointed to them, yelling, "Lydia bear?" I told her no, and we kept shopping. I pushed the stroller in front of me while I bent down to look at a low-hanging rack of clothes. As I was looking, I could hear Lydia quietly talking. I stood up to see another woman, on the other side of the stroller, also bending down to look at the low-hanging rack of clothes. She had one of the bears in her arms along with other stuff she was going to buy. Lydia had spotted the bear and was quietly whispering to the woman, "Lydia bear. Lydia bear. Lydia bear," trying to get the woman to hand it over. The woman was silently holding in laughter, trying to ignore Lydia.

One time at the grocery store, Lydia was 4 and did not want to be shopping. She yelled, for the whole store to hear, "I'm hungry! You don't feed me!" When that didn't get the attention she wanted, she yelled, "Please don't leave me in the car alone!" (Something I have never done.)

Then there was the time last fall, when Lydia and I were grocery shopping and had what I thought was a very cute conversation.

Lydia: Mommy, do you want me to tell you all the bad words?

Me: Oh yeah, tell them to me. L: STUPID Me: Ooooh, that's a bad one!  L: HATE Me: Yup, another bad word, you're right! L: SHIT Me: Oh. Yeah. Let's not say that one again, OK?

I don't think she said that one loud enough for too many people to hear. 

We're Still Here!

I have failed at blogging for the past month. All of a sudden, our summer was a frenzy with a trip to Madison to visit my family, then my cross country season started, then school started, and then I got really sick this past weekend when I was planning on catching up on some posts. In the meantime, I've missed writing a post about our trip to Madison and the first day of school. I can't believe Audrey is in 4K. She absolutely LOVES school and can't wait for it to be a school day. She's also much more forthcoming with details about her day than Lydia has ever been, so it's fun to hear more about what she does at school and what she likes and dislikes.

Unfortunately, I have a stack of quizzes to grade since I'm just now starting to feel better after feeling completely exhausted since Thursday. I'll post a few pictures to make up for it.

There's no crying in baseball! Well, except when it's over.

This summer Lydia played baseball and Audrey played tee-ball. We mainly chose to sign up because it was only $25 and figured that if they didn't like it, at least it was only $25. We have tried other activities in the past. Soccer was a bust. Lydia was three and was not interested at all. In fact, she hid behind trees and we had to tell her to stop eating grass more than once. Dance wasn't a good fit either. I wasn't a big fan from the beginning, but it was one of the few things she could sign up for at four and there was no grass. She just wasn't very interested in it and the recitals were a racket. We did ice-skating too, which actually went pretty well. It was expensive though, and as soon as she lost interest, we stopped the lessons and told her she could try again when she was ready to focus more. She wants to try again this winter. Audrey has absolutely no interest in skating after some not-so-great lessons. They both love swimming, which we will continue to do with them because I think it's a great sport for them and they love it and are good at it.

Lydia's baseball team practiced Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday mornings. She only missed two practices. There were some kids who barely practiced at all and then showed up for games, which confused me. She LOVED her coaches. They were both college students, one male and one female, and they were amazing with the kids. The male coach really seemed to bond with Lydia and always had a special job for her. Plus, she learned how to play baseball! She actually improved a lot. She really liked hitting and when it was her turn to field, she liked being pitcher or catcher. I was pretty impressed by the end of the season when she actually seemed to know how to play baseball!

Audrey's team only met on Wednesdays. The first few were practices and the last several were games. It was pretty adorable. They don't really learn how to field yet, but get the basics of the game. There's nothing cuter than an entire team of four year-olds chasing after a ball. She was also one of the smallest kids on her team, having just turned four a week before practice.

When their final game came around, both girls were upset. Audrey asked if we could sign up for it again, and I tried to explain to her that we would, but it would be in ten months. Lydia actually sobbed when her last game was over, which broke my heart, but also made me so, so glad that she had such a great time.

Here are some pictures from their last games.

Beauty Shop Night

Every once in a while, we have beauty shop night. I do the girls' hair and nails. Today we threw a few more steps in because they showered first, so then I had to blow-dry their hair. We also added masks.

Masks for flawless skin. I was surprised that Charlie wanted one too.

Pre-pedicure foot soak.

Pre-manicure hand soak.

Blow-outs. (They also chose to ditch their robes.)

 Audrey's straight hair gets curlers.

Charlie's too, but only four of them.

Lydia's curly hair gets straightened. Plus, Olympic manicure.

Audrey all beautified.

A better view of her curls.

Charlie's crazy curls. Her hair is so fine that they just kind of went nuts and lasted about 20 minutes. 

Currently...

I like to take videos of the girls every few months where I interview them and have them show what they know. So, I'll post the latest, which I admit were taken last month.

In a nutshell...

Lydia:
-Loved playing baseball this summer and is devastated it's almost over. She went from zero skills to doing better than I expected. She also had a crush on her coach.
- Swims like a fish! She loves being under water and tries to do handstands and somersaults. She can swim about 15 feet without touching. LOVES water slides.
- Very sneaky. You have to keep an eye on her. She's always trying to figure out a way to beat the system.
- Can count past 100.
- Can read very well. Most one syllable words are no problem and she does a great job sounding out words she doesn't know. She doesn't particularly like to read, but she can.
- Can and subtract one-digit numbers and has started some simple multiplication.
- Plays the violin. She took some summer lessons and is starting to get the hang of it.

Audrey:
- Loved playing tee-ball this summer and wants to know when she can sign up for more.
- Also swims like a fish. About as strong of a swimmer as Lydia but doesn't have as good of a technique. She is better at backwards somersaults than Lydia, though.
- Can count past 20.
- Recognizes most letters and numbers.
- Loves to pretend. If you leave her alone in a room, you will hear her talking to her dolls and making them talk to each other.
- Likes to help out, but does not clean up her toys.

Charlie:
- Counts to about 12.
- Says her ABC's.
- Sings songs she hears.
- Has just started to speak in complete sentences.
- LOVES Yo Gabba Gabba.
- Is crazy in the pool. Loves going underwater even though she can't swim. Loves jumping off the side so we can catch her. Has started to try to dive.
- Loves to make people laugh and is incredibly goofy.
- Refuses to use the potty.
- Has been sleeping in a big girl bed since July 1 with very few problems.
- Is an amazing cuddler.

Now, onto the videos. I'm posting Youtube links because otherwise they would take too long.

First, Charlie.

Charlie Numbers and Colors

Charlie ABC's

And Audrey...

Interview with Audge

Finally, Lydia.

Interview with Lydia

This last video cracks me up. Lydia insisted on my videotaping her reading Green Eggs and Ham. The entire book. At about 3 minutes in, Charlie decided she wanted the spotlight.

Lydia Reading, Charlie Creeping

Mid-Summer Update

Oh. Remember how I was going to post more during the summer? Sorry about that. But, we've been busy. We seem to have had a long run of parties.

June 30th we went to a housewarming party for some good friends of ours. My mom, the Granny Nanny, came with and took the girls home at a reasonable hour so Jayson and I could stay later and enjoy ourselves. It was a good thing, too, because it was really, really HOT and I don't think they would have lasted much longer than they did.

July 3rd we went to the home of a friend of ours who lives in a little neighborhood out in the country. Every July 3rd, he does a huge fireworks show in his backyard and there are probably around 150 people there. Every year, I seem to end up watching it in my car because one or more of the girls are afraid. This year it was Charlie and Lydia. They sat in the car and watched and I stood outside the car. Every time I opened the door to see how they were doing (it was HOT), Charlie screamed at me to shut the door. So, that was fun.

July 4th we went to the parade in New Berlin. Again, HOT. Every 2.5 seconds, I was shoving water bottles in the girls' faces and telling them to drink. After the parade, it was home for naps and then to a 4th of July party at a friends house who lives close enough to the park that we can sit on the sidewalk in front of her house and watch the fireworks. Just like the party the previous night, there were oodles of kids running around and the girls had a blast. We were farther away from the fireworks this time, so Charlie initially freaked out, but then did fine. She even told me the fireworks were cute.

July 6th we went to Jammin on Janesville with some friends. Again, HOT. Again with the water. The girls just adore the other family we went with, so they had a blast and got absolutely filthy dirty from walking and playing. The got their faces painted early in the evening, but after a few hours in the heat, they looked like their faces were melting.

July 8th we went to a party at another friends house. They had one of those big Banzai water slide sprinklers and again, tons of kids. The girls just loved it. I loved that the girls are finally at an age where they can pretty much play without us and Jayson and I can just sit and relax and enjoy ourselves.

July 9th, Charlie woke up and asked me, "Mommy, party today?" No, we were partied out.

The Last of the Big Girl Beds

The crib we used for all three girls converts to a full size bed. Last summer, I ordered the conversion kit so we would be ready whenever we decided to switch Charlie from her crib to a bed. I would prefer to just leave her in her crib until she's old enough to understand how wonderful beds are, but the dang thing (Charlie) keeps growing. So, we decided it's time. We also decided summer would be the transition period, when both of us are home and able to deal with the complete insanity of a two year-old at bedtime. Last night we discussed the fact that this week we would have a few late nights, with it being the 4th of July and us having various parties to attend. We figured it would be a perfect time to start the transition, when we knew she would be tired and not up for too much of a struggle.

We just needed to get a full size mattress and box spring. I decided to assemble the bed frame before we went to get the mattress so when we got home we would just need to plop the mattress in and call it a night. I very quickly realized our conversion kit did not have the necessary parts. We were missing the parts that allowed us to screw the side slats into the headboard and footboard. We were also missing some of the hardware pictured in the manual. We attempted to put the frame together using only the wooden dowels for the connections, but then we found that the slats that go across the frame to hold the box spring were too long. I called Buy Buy Baby, where we had ordered the conversion kit. The very helpful lady told me they would order a new one for us right away. It would be here in 14 to 16 weeks. As in more than three months. As in October. I asked her if there was anyway to get it sooner and explained to her that we were sitting with a half assembled bed, a half disassembled crib, a two year-old who needed a place to sleep tonight, and a husband who wasn't going to deal with putting a two year-old in a bed in the fall when I would barely even be home with school and cross country. She said she would try to expedite the order. It didn't sound very promising. Sorrelle cribs and Buy Buy Baby, I am not happy with either of you.

So, we decided we would just do half-ass job putting the bed together and let her sleep in it. Yes. We did. We even said out loud, "Well, if it falls, she's only six inches off the ground." Yes. We said that. We were experiencing enormous amounts of stress and that disappointed feeling when it seems like you should have had a handle on something but then it all just goes to shit. We were going to put the bed together without screws and run the slats at an angle.

We loaded up the car and headed to Big Lots because they had Serta mattresses on sale. If you have insider information that buying mattresses at Big Lots is the stupidest idea ever, please do not tell me because I just need to believe that it was a good decision. I'll tell you what is stupid, though. 99% of the people working at Big Lots. We went to the store, which is just a couple miles from our house. We scoped out the mattresses. I asked an associate at the front checkouts if somebody could help us and she paged somebody. A few minutes later, the teenage boy she paged walked towards us at a speed that would make you think he was running some sort of reverse race where the goal was to take the longest amount of time to get from point A to point B. I told him the mattress we were interested in. He went to the back storage area. He returned about five minutes later. "Yeah. We don't have that one in the full. But we do have queen if you're interested in that." Oh yes! Wonderful! Could you please get me a queen size mattress for my full size bed? That sounds perfect!

Meanwhile, our normally somewhat well-behaved kids were climbing all over the furniture at Big Lots and even running up and down aisles. I asked him to check the back and see which mattresses they did have in full size. He came back five minutes later to let me know that one of the mattresses that was $80 more was available in a full.  He told us, "The other Big Lots has it." Not, "Hey, let me call the other Big Lots to see if they have it." Not, "The other Big Lots might have it." He told us the other Big Lots had it. Jayson asked, "Where is that one? By the stadium?" and the kid confirmed that was where the other Big Lots was.

Back in the car, and we headed towards the stadium. Once we got close, I pulled out the navigator on my phone and looked up directions. There was no Big Lots by the stadium. In fact, the other Big Lots was 17 minutes from the stadium, according to my phone. We pulled into a Wendy's and Jayson got Frostys for everybody. Because that's what you do when everything else is going wrong. Eat ice cream. Then we headed towards the other Big Lots.

We got there and the girls were covered in melted Frostys. So we gave them a baby wipe sponge bath and went into the store. We asked for somebody to help us with the mattresses. It took a while, but somebody finally came. They had NO mattresses in a full size. None. Back to the car.

We drove back to the original Big Lots by our house and decided to buy the one that was a little more expensive. It was after 7:00, the kids were being awful, and Charlie still needed something to sleep on. I tracked down the big dumb kid again and he went back to get the mattress we wanted. I explained to him that we needed the mattress and the box spring. I had caught onto the mental capacity we were working with and clearly explained, "We need the mattress and the box spring. The sign here says it's called a 'foundation.' There should be two pieces." He returned with the mattress and asked us if we wanted him to bring it up front. No. Please, leave it here. I think we will just camp out here at Big Lots for the night. Once we got up front, I told him, "And the box spring? We need the box spring too." He looked surprised, as if this was a new development to him, and went back to get the box spring. He returned after a few minutes. No box spring. They were out.

I almost threw a tantrum in the store. Then, the girl working at the service desk took over. She determined that they were out of box springs. She called the third Big Lots in the area and they were also out. She told us she would give us the sale price and we could come back for the box spring when their delivery came. Yes. Perfect. Done.

We came home with the mattress. We tried to put it on our jerry-rigged bed and the bed fell apart. We tried to put it back together (oh, yes, we did!) and attempted it again, and it fell apart again. We came to the realization that even if we could get the mattress to balance on the frame, it probably wasn't safe for sleeping. So, we put the frame downstairs and Jayson got an old metal frame from the garage and cleaned it up. We did have to improvise with some wooden slats, but it was stable. We made the bed. Charlie laughed and cheered and climbed into it.

Once it was time to sleep, she was not so excited about it. Jayson spent about fifteen minutes putting her back in bed and telling her not to get out, but it eventually stuck. She is currently sleeping very soundly in her big girl bed. The plan is to get the box spring this week, and then in a few months when the new conversion kit comes in, we'll switch her to the nice wooden frame and headboard.

I am currently exhausted and will now be going to bed in my big girl bed.