The Day We Rewarded Our Daughter for Mediocre Behavior

Lydia has had her ups and downs at school. We've struggled with poor behavior (mostly not doing what she's supposed to be doing and ignoring efforts to get her on track). We've found a system of rewards and consequences that works well for her and have often bribed her with rewards for a good week at school. It works well and she has come a long way from last year.

Audrey has had absolutely no behavior problems at all. She is a star student. Teachers love her. Other parents compliment us. She loves school and gets off the bus with a huge smile on her face, ready to tell us all about her day. Her teacher has different levels of behavior, with Double Outstanding Choices at the top, followed by Outstanding Choices, Good Choices, Ready to Learn, Turn Your Day Around, and then a level or two lower than that. I don't even know what the lower levels are because Audrey has never ended her day on anything lower than Good Choices. She comes home so excited to tell us what she was on for the day, and even Charlie questions her when she gets off the bus, "Outstanding Choices today, Audrey? Or Good Choices?" Audrey tells us all about the kids who end up on Ready to Learn or lower and talks about them like they have fallen from grace.

Yesterday, Audrey got moved to Turn Your Day Around for talking during carpet time. It was devastating. She eventually moved up to Ready to Learn, but it was still the worst day in her little 4K life. She got off the bus so upset and cried when she told Jayson what happened. Jayson emailed her teacher about something unrelated, but mentioned Audrey's day, and when Mr. K responded, he told Jayson how upset Audrey was at the end of the day and he had talked to her about how it's OK and tomorrow would be a new day and she could do better. He also seemed to feel awful that she felt so bad about it.

When Jayson told me about Audrey's mood when she got off the bus and forwarded me the email, I felt so bad for her. If only she knew what we dealt with with Lydia. Then she would realize that in the grand scheme of things, she was actually doing an amazing job.

So, we did the only rational thing. We took her out for ice cream. We told her how great her behavior was and how proud we are of her for always being so good. Her sisters also had good days, so they got ice cream too. Ice cream for everybody! All because Audrey behaved just OK.

Peculiar Audrey

All three of our girls have their quirks. Lydia hates socks. Audrey refuses to wear jeans. Charlie sucks her thumb and holds her ear when she's tired. However, Audrey seems to have a few more quirks than the other two. As mentioned above, she hates jeans. I think she's worn jeans only once or twice in the past two years. She asked me to get rid of all her jeans. She will occasionally cave and wear corduroys, but she prefers leggings and sweatpants. Audrey also asks to be alone when she's upset. I don't blame her. We have a small house and I frequently want to cry and be alone too, but I'm 33. She's 4. It's a little different when a four year-old asks for some time alone.

This is Audrey's diamond.

It's currently on our Christmas tree because its previous spot was hanging from a nail on the wall that is now behind the tree. It is currently on the black side. The other side is blue. When it starts to get dark at night, she turns it to black. In the morning she turns it to blue. She does this every day. She has bee doing this for a couple months. As soon as it starts to get dark out, she runs to change her diamond. I have no idea where she got it. She either made it at school or at home, but I don't remember how or why it appeared. But, she must change it every day.

This is Audrey grocery shopping.

Audrey loves brussel sprouts. She has cried at the grocery store when we bought frozen brussel sprouts and wouldn't let her eat them immediately in the store. When she was allowed to bring a snack to school because she was Star of the Week, she asked to bring brussel sprouts. We talked her out of it, but I still think it would have been funny and I like to imagine Audrey cheerily eating her brussel sprout snack while the other kids looked at her with disgust.

This is a picture Audrey colored.

It's creepy. You can say it. It makes me very uncomfortable. She gave it to Charlie and Charlie was very pleased with her gift.


Now, not despite, but because of Audrey's little quirks, I love her so much. I love that she's goofy. A lot of her goofiness is rooted in her intelligence and individuality and I just love that. I can't wait to see how this quirkiness manifests itself as she grows up.

There's no crying in baseball! Well, except when it's over.

This summer Lydia played baseball and Audrey played tee-ball. We mainly chose to sign up because it was only $25 and figured that if they didn't like it, at least it was only $25. We have tried other activities in the past. Soccer was a bust. Lydia was three and was not interested at all. In fact, she hid behind trees and we had to tell her to stop eating grass more than once. Dance wasn't a good fit either. I wasn't a big fan from the beginning, but it was one of the few things she could sign up for at four and there was no grass. She just wasn't very interested in it and the recitals were a racket. We did ice-skating too, which actually went pretty well. It was expensive though, and as soon as she lost interest, we stopped the lessons and told her she could try again when she was ready to focus more. She wants to try again this winter. Audrey has absolutely no interest in skating after some not-so-great lessons. They both love swimming, which we will continue to do with them because I think it's a great sport for them and they love it and are good at it.

Lydia's baseball team practiced Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday mornings. She only missed two practices. There were some kids who barely practiced at all and then showed up for games, which confused me. She LOVED her coaches. They were both college students, one male and one female, and they were amazing with the kids. The male coach really seemed to bond with Lydia and always had a special job for her. Plus, she learned how to play baseball! She actually improved a lot. She really liked hitting and when it was her turn to field, she liked being pitcher or catcher. I was pretty impressed by the end of the season when she actually seemed to know how to play baseball!

Audrey's team only met on Wednesdays. The first few were practices and the last several were games. It was pretty adorable. They don't really learn how to field yet, but get the basics of the game. There's nothing cuter than an entire team of four year-olds chasing after a ball. She was also one of the smallest kids on her team, having just turned four a week before practice.

When their final game came around, both girls were upset. Audrey asked if we could sign up for it again, and I tried to explain to her that we would, but it would be in ten months. Lydia actually sobbed when her last game was over, which broke my heart, but also made me so, so glad that she had such a great time.

Here are some pictures from their last games.

Tough as Nails

We took the girls to the dentist a couple weeks ago and Audrey had a cavity. Jayson and I both were relieved that if one of them had a cavity, it was Audrey. Audrey is the child who asked the nurse for the flu shot instead of the flu mist, and watched with no emotion as the needle went into her arm. Today was her appointment to have it filled. We didn't want to give her too many details about what would happen. We basically told her she had a cavity and the dentist would fix it. She was pretty excited because she loves the dentist. When we got there, an assistant we had never met called her back, which I think threw her off just a little bit. I think the assistant would have preferred if I had stayed in the waiting room, but I wanted to be there, and Audrey wanted me there. I made sure to sit in the corner and not say much.

They gave Audrey some laughing gas, and I'll admit I was a bit disappointed it didn't make her more loopy. It pretty much caused her to ignore everybody. The entire time they worked on her mouth, she stared straight ahead with her mouth open. The dentist laughed and made jokes and asked her questions and she just stared straight ahead with her mouth open. No tears, no flinching, no complaining. When it was all done, she just looked at me and smiled.

We told her she needs to start using our toothpaste to prevent cavities. She likes the fruity taste of hers better. Tonight I told her if she doesn't use our toothpaste, she might have to get another cavity filled. She told me that's OK. It was fun.

Our First Cavity

We took the girls to the dentist today for a routine exam. It turns out Audrey has a little cavity that needs to be filled. We're telling her as little as possible about it, just that she gets to go back to the dentist in a couple weeks (they love the dentist) because there's an owie on one of her teeth and the dentist needs to put medicine on it. Luckily, she won't be getting a shot of Novocaine. I guess they use a numbing gel now. Also, luckily, she's our toughest kid, so it won't be as bad as if it were Lydia or Charlie.

The Mystery Ailment

Sunday night Audrey woke up complaining that her arm hurt. Monday night she woke up complaining that her arm hurt, and then a little while later, her hand. I discovered a bunch of red bumps on her palm that looked like tiny blister under the skin. We went to the doctor on Tuesday and he was not very concerned about the arm pain and told us the bumps were a virus similar to hand, foot, and mouth disease. He told us we could give her ibuprofen for the pain and as long as she didn't develop a fever, she would not be contagious after a couple days. He said it would spread and probably last a week or two. Tuesday night, whe woke up with arm pain again. Wednesday morning, we saw that the bumps had indeed spread to her arms. Wednesday afternoon after her nap, the bumps had spread up her arm and were no longer blisters under the skin, but raised blisters with liquid in them. She also complained more of arm pain and would not use her right arm. I took her in to the doctor again, but our regular doctor was out, so she saw a different one. This doctor was stumped and concentrated more on the arm pain, but found nothing wrong. She could move it OK and no matter how the doctor twisted it, Audrey didn't seem uncomfortable. She brought in another doctor to look at the bumps and they concluded that it's a virus like chicken pox. They said she would only really be contagious of people came in direct contact with the bumps, so she needs to wear long sleeves. In June. None of the three doctors seemed to be very sure of their diagnoses, and we go back on Friday for a follow-up, right before we're supposed to head for Minnesota for the weekend. It's frustrating to see her in pain and not know what's causing it. She is such a trooper, though. I'm very curious to see how this ends.

In other news, two funny things from Lydia:

I told her that this morning I found Charlie licking my deodorant. Lydia said that was gross and I agreed. Then she said, "Now you have to put it back in your armpit! Disgusting!" Apparently, she is more worried about my delicate armpits.

Tonight Lydia told me, "I think you were cuckoo when you were a little girl." I confessed to her that I think I'm still a little cuckoo. She looked at me very concerned and said, "Should I tell somebody?"

Audrey's Acceptance Letter

As soon as I got home today, Audrey came tearing into the kitchen yelling, "I have something to show you!" Her eyes scanned the table and she frantically asked Jayson, "Where is it?! Where is it!?" He handed her a sheet of paper and she ran up to me. "I'm going to KINDERGARTEN!" She excitedly shoved a letter in my face that confirmed she is registered for four year-old kindergarten next year. "I'm going to turn four and I'm going to go to Hoover School!" I frowned and looked at Jayson and he laughed, because he knows how sad I am about the girls getting so big.  Lydia gave me a pat on the back to assure me it would be OK. Awwww... Audge-pants is going to school!

So Pretty

Audrey is a very funny, smart, caring, and pretty girl. She tells jokes and laughs and laughs at them, she is quickly learning letters and numbers and words, she has a very special bond with both her sisters, and she was blessed with her daddy's big green eyes.

She recently went through a stage where she refused to wear jeans. She told me, "Mommy, can you take care of all my jeans?" I asked her what she meant by "take care" of them, and with a whisk of her hand, she said, "Just get rid of them. Give them to Charlie." So, I packed away her jeans which were just taking up space in her drawer, and got what she called "comfy pants" at Target. The comfy pants stage lasted a few weeks and then she decided all she wanted to wear was skirts and dresses. Lydia never went through a skirts and dresses stage, so I didn't have many. We took a trip to the children's resale shop and I got her about a dozen dresses, a handful of skirts, and leggings to wear with them. Now, she insists on wearing dresses daily or skirts with "pretty shirts" which means they have princesses on them.

I wasn't too concerned with the dress-wearing until she started to constantly ask me if she's pretty. She would get dressed and ask me if she was pretty. I would do her hair and she would ask me if it was pretty. I was a little concerned about the obsession. One day I asked her, "Audrey, would you rather be pretty or smart?" She replied, "Pretty!" without even a moment to consider the options. Lydia said, "No, Audrey, the right answer is smart." I told Jayson my concerns and he informed me that it's all because of one of Audrey's friends at the gym. Apparently, this little girl has told Audrey that jeans are not pretty. Then she started telling Audrey that she has to wear dresses to be pretty. My heart sank. She loves her little friend at the gym, but I don't know her mom and wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her about it, and I don't even know what I would say anyway.

I definitely want Audrey to feel pretty and know she is beautiful both inside and out. I keep trying to tell her that she can wear whatever she wants and still be pretty. Lydia told her, "Audrey, we're always pretty. We can wear anything and still be pretty." It might sound a little bit boastful, but that's the attitude I want them to have! I never want them to feel anything less than pretty, and I also don't want them to think that "pretty" is some goal that they have to strive to reach.

So, I'm kind of at a loss. Audrey will continue to go to the gym, will continue to play with her friend, and will continue to be told that she has to wear dresses to be pretty. On my end, I will just try to keep reinforcing that her friend is wrong, and I will keep telling her that she is smart, funny, and nice too.

Night

On most weekdays, I've been out of the house for about an hour and a half by the time my kids wake up. I absolutely hate that I miss wake-up time. It's one of my favorite times of the day because the girls are at their absolute cutest. They crawl into our bed, their hair a mess and their eyes still puffy (I know, because I DO get to see this on the weekends). Their internal sleep meters are completely charged and they are at their sweetest, giving hugs and kisses to us and even each other. Sometimes, before coming upstairs, we can hear Lydia and Audrey talking on the monitor and then hear the thump of their feet as they run out of their room, down the hall, through the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and into our room. A short time later, we hear Charlie yelling, "Daadaa! Mommy!" and go get her to discover her standing in her crib, holding all of her stuffed animals and blankets and asking us to put her socks on.

On the other hand, I will admit to sometimes being relieved when I miss bedtime. Not every time I have to miss it, but sometimes. When the week has been long and trying, and when Jayson has texted me that he needs a beer. Or three. Those are the days that I feel a bit of relief when I'm not there, but also a bit of guilt and a bit of sadness. Bedtime has been overall a fairly easy time for us. Well, except for when Lydia was about one and a half until two. During that time, we moved her to a "big girl bed" and she would NOT stay in it. Jayson and I made the new parent mistake of laying in bed with her. Then we were trapped. It took us months to finally be able to get her to sleep without us in the room. Then more months to get her to sleep without us in the hallway, sitting where she could see us, working on our computers or reading a magazine.

We did not make that mistake with the others. In fact, Audrey STILL won't get out of bed on her own most mornings. She yells for us to go in her room and get her, despite the fact that she is in a regular bed and could easily get out on her own. Bedtime now is pretty easy and brief. Jammies, teeth, book, hugs and kisses, draw a nightlight for them on their Crayola Glow Station, and then bed. There are definitely nights where they stay up giggling or yelling or crying, but those are getting more and more sparse.

It's not so much bedtime being stressful as it is that time between dinner and bed. One of my friends calls it "The Witching Hour," when it's too early for bed, but the kids are tired and cranky and their internal sleep meter is urgently flashing red. Sleep is required and it will come soon, but not yet. That is probably my least favorite time of day. When bedtime finally comes, and for us it is early because our kids don't nap (even Charlie is outgrowing her naps) and they get up early, it is a relief. The bedtime routine starts and ends and Jayson and I collapse on the couch.

Then the house quiets down. And then I start to miss them and wish they were awake and want to peek at them sleeping but don't want to risk waking up the cherubs that just an hour ago were devils. It is this part of the day when I want to just hold them and stroke their hair and put their cheek to mine and whisper songs in their ears and just love them. When they were babies, a cry in the night brought a grumble and ruined a good night's sleep. Now, on many nights, it's a special treat. One more kiss and hug in the night and they're back to sleep. Or with Charlie, who is by far the best snuggler, ten minutes of rocking under a blankie with her head tucked into my neck. Those are times I cherish.

Little Sports Fans

Audrey likes to say she's a football fan. She claims she likes the Packers. She can name a few of the players. But, when it comes down to it, once the game has been on for two minutes, she's done. She's hungry. She wants to watch Dora. Lydia has never shown any interest in football. She will happily sit on the couch and color in her journal while we watch, and she likes to know names of the people on the team, but she couldn't care less about the game. Charlie is happy just running around and doing whatever her sisters do.

Until this past Sunday. The Packer game was good. It was close. It was the kind of game that makes you jump off the couch and yell at the TV. Audrey said she wanted to watch it and intently asked us who everybody was and told us to let her know when Aaron Rodgers was on. Lydia sat on my lap and watched and when things got tense, she actually paid attention. When I yelled, "First down!" she yelled, "Touchdown!" (Hey, at least it was close.) At one point, when a Packers receiver dropped a pass, she even groaned. SHE GROANED! She had an inkling of what was going on. We taught Charlie to throw her arms in the air and yell, "TOUCHDOWN!" All three of them were into the game!

When it was all over, Lydia said to Jayson, "Daddy, can we watch football every Sunday?" I think it was one of his proudest fathering moments.

Sunday Sillies

I love my job, but I cherish the time I get to spend at home with my family. Sunday afternoons are one of my favorite times of the week. This Sunday after lunch Jayson watched football, Charlie napped, and Lydia and Audrey laid in my bed with me and watched Finding Nemo. The intent was to get Lydia to take a much-needed nap, and it worked. And I got to sneak one in to. Until I woke up to Audrey in Lydia's face whispering her name and trying to wake her up. Luckily, I woke up first and shooed her away.

Often, Jayson and I will just sit back and watch all three of them run around like crazy. Today, Lydia and Audrey were playing some game where they ran from the living room to the play room and back to the living room over and over again, giggling and squealing. Charlie followed them with one dress-up shoe on, clomping down the hall once as they made their rounds at least three times to her one.

We also love to hear them talk to each other and to us. I could go on and on about the funny things they said this weekend. Audrey is obsessed with brussel sprouts and begs for them with every meal. She likes to pick out the smallest one she can find and say in a high-pitched voice, "Look at this cute little baby one!" Charlie says "NO!" to everything and has started repeating many, many words and phrases. Lydia is hilarious. She has been giving her phone number out to boys at school. Today a bunch of people walked past our house and we talked about where they might be going and Audrey suggested they were going to the fair, to which Lydia replied, "The fair? Fair's over, kid." Lydia also asked me yesterday if I wanted to hear all the bad words and I said I would, so she said, "STUPID!," and I replied, "Oh yeah, that's one is really bad!" Then she said, "HATE!," and I said, "Yes, you're right, another bad one!" Then she said, "SHIT!" and I suggested it might be best not to repeat that one.

Bedtime Beast

Audrey has been a handful at bedtime lately, and it has started to really wear me down.When I tuck her in at night, I make sure she has gone potty and gotten a drink of water. I make sure her three blankets are placed exactly how she has to have them and she has two ice packs (we've talked her down from three). I make sure she gets plenty of hugs and kisses. I remind her not to yell for me for anything and that if she goes to bed without yelling for me, she will get a special treat the next day.

It never works.

Inevitably, she yells for me because she needs her blankets spread out again. Then she needs to go potty again. Then she needs another kiss. Then she can't find her SpongeBob ice pack. Then she needs her blankets spread again. Each time I go in there and sternly tell her how angry and disappointed I am that she is being so naughty and we won't get a special treat.

Then she laughs.

Luckily, Lydia sleeps through it all. Audrey's requests are usually brief and simple. A few nights ago, when she couldn't find her Elmo ice pack, I told her we would have to wait until morning, which threw her into hysterics and I let her cry until Jayson came home about half an hour later and found it for her. I wanted to see what would happen if I did just refuse to succumb to her requests. I got my answer. She will throw a crying fit that will outlast my patience.

Just last night, she ruined her special treat, which was going to be camping in the backyard. On my second trip back into her room, I told her we would not camp in the back yard this week, and she told me, "We'll talk about this later."

I really wouldn't even mind all that much if I didn't have stuff to do. I have things I would like to finish around the house, an unfinished sewing project downstairs, and I do need to do some lesson plans, despite it being July. Plus, once school resumes, I will have at least an hour of work each night to do after she's sleeping.

So, we will continue to work on shortening the routine and limiting the trips back into her room. And we WILL talk about this later.

Happy Birthday, Audrey!

Today, Audrey turned three. She was very excited about turning three and has been asking for the past several months, "When am I going to be three?" so it was very exciting today for her to finally be able to say she is three!  Audrey is unlike her sisters in the fact that she can be grumpy. I don't think this is a bad thing. Lydia and Charlie are very easy to please and laugh at anything. Audrey is more conscientious and has a very serious analytical side. Sometimes, you can almost see the wheels spinning in her head as she checks out a situation with great care and thoughtfulness as she decides how she is going to proceed.

Audrey was born during a tornado warning. I would say she has many of the same qualities as a tornado -- unpredictable, serious, dangerous. That's not to say she doesn't know how to have fun. Audrey is hilarious and has a very funny sense of humor. She loves to tell jokes and has a belly laugh that just kills me. She loves her sisters very much, but as Jayson recently told me, "She's done taking Lydia's crap." Yes, the days of Lydia telling Audrey what to do and Audrey happily complying are over. Audrey has started yelling back at her, "No Lydia! You not listening. You need a time out!"

Audrey is also unlike her sisters in that she has green eyes and straight brown hair instead of blue eyes and curly blonde hair. I'm still not sure how curly Charlie's hair will be, but it will at least be curlier than Audrey's. Audrey also has her quirks, like the fact that one of her favorite birthday gifts was ice packs for her to sleep with. One of my favorite recent Audrey stories was the other day when she was doing something very impressive, but I was busy, so when she asked me to look at her, I made a typical mom move and kept looking at what I was working on and said, "Yes, Audrey, that's great!" and she yelled at me, "LOOK AT ME WITH YOUR FACE!" That's my Audge-pants!

Mother of the Year

This weekend, we took the girls to Green Bay to visit our good friends, Adam and Jenny. We love visiting them because they are so great with the girls and going to their house is like being on vacation for us. The girls get to play somewhere new and fun and get loads of attention and Jayson and I get to hang out with our amazing friends. This past visit, we were up past midnight drinking beer and playing cribbage. A perfect night.

The girls love going to Bay Beach, which is an amusement park just minutes from Adam and Jenny's house. There's tons of rides for the girls to go on, including a Ferris wheel, carousel, train, the Scrambler, the Tilt-a-Whirl, big swings, a giant slide, bumper cars, and smaller rides for the little ones. Each ride is only one or two tickets, and each ticket is a quarter. We were there for about three hours and went on as many rides as the girls wanted and got popcorn and ice cream, and didn't spend more than $20. Here's a picture of the girls on one of the rides last year (I didn't take pictures this year because Jenny is a photographer, and part of the trip was Jenny taking their pictures for us in formal clothes in her studio and then in casual clothes at Bay Beach, so those pictures will come later). You might notice that Lydia is enjoying herself, but Audrey has a look of cautious enjoyment on her face and is firmly clutching the caterpillar.

Last year when we went, Lydia wanted to try The Scrambler. The website describes it as "Here is a fast and fun ride. Each set of four buckets twirls around and at the same time "shoots" out towards the outside. Everyone has a smile and a scream on this ride!" I was unsure at first. I didn't want to be stuck on a ride with a screaming child and be responsible for ruining her day and possibly her life. But, we did it, and she loved it. This picture is from last year when we went on it:

This year, Audrey asked to go on the Scrambler. She's a year younger than Lydia was when she went on it last year, so I wasn't sure. I suggested the Tilt-a-Whirl instead. I knew it was still a fast ride, but it just spun around, right? Not a big deal. She loves it when I spin her around. Plus, Lydia went on that one last year too and did fine. So, Jenny, Lydia, Audrey, and I waited in line for the Tilt-a-Whirl. We sat in our little car and put the bar down, and Audrey immediately got a look of concern on her face. You could see the wheels spinning in her head as she tried to figure out what the hell we were doing and what was going to happen next. I kept talking about how fun it was going to be to get her pumped up.

Then the ride began. The first time the car spun around, Audrey laughed nervously. Then I became the worst mom ever. As the ride continued to spin, Audrey looked horrified. Her chin quivered. She started crying. The worst part was that Lydia was between us. So, I tried to wrap my arms around Audrey and comfort her while Lydia yelled at me to get my arms off her. I felt so awful and helpful and just kept telling Audrey that everything was OK and it would be over soon. Finally, the ride stopped and I held Audrey as we walked off.

Audrey told me she didn't want to do that ride again. We went to the little kiddie rides and Audrey picked the caterpillars. I helped get her situated and went to watch and as the other kids loaded, Audrey broke down in tears again. She was afraid it was going to be fast like the Tilt-a-Whirl. I assured her and the guy running the ride that she would be fine, and once the ride started, she loved it. She was getting tired though, and on the next ride, she asked Jenny if she could just hold her hand, not quite understanding that Jenny couldn't just walk around holding her hand as the ride rotated.

So, we headed back to Adam and Jenny's and then headed home after a quick lunch. Audrey keeps talking about how she doesn't like the Tilt-a-Whirl and she cried on it because it was a little bit fast. So far, it doesn't seem that any damage has been done. Until she's 30 and in therapy and it all comes out that her mom made her go on a fast ride at Bay Beach and that explains all her insecurities and failures in life.

Happy Mother's Day

I never thought I would have daughters. I always knew I would have kids, there was never a doubt in my mind that one of my callings in life was to be a mother. To sons. Not daughters. I knew I would have sons. Four of them, to be exact. I daydreamed of my little clan playing football in the back yard and wearing matching jerseys to baseball games. Aside from being athletes, they would also be very smart and have top-notch personalities.

I told people that I didn’t even know what I would do with a girl. I rarely wore make-up, my clothes were fairly basic, and accessories were an afterthought. Even my job, a construction engineer, required me to wear steel-toed boots and an over-sized fluorescent orange vest. I felt I would ruin a girl. I was too uncoordinated to be considered a tomboy, but I definitely was not a girly girl. I just didn’t care for girls, especially that six to nine year-old range where they play with Barbies and My Little Ponies. Luckily, Jayson felt the same way, and was looking forward to raising our brood of boys.

When I was pregnant with our first child, we did not find out the gender. Why would we? It was going to be a boy. I bought boy clothes, and to be safe, some that would be considered gender neutral just in case it was a girl. Of course, if it was a girl (which it wasn’t going to be), she wouldn’t wear pink anyway, since I despise pink. The nursery was painted green and yellow and the dresser was stocked with Milwaukee Brewers onesies and blue outfits with puppy dogs on them.

Then, Lydia was born.  Defiant from the start just by refusing a Y-chromosome, she was born when I was induced over a week past my due date. My mom, the mother of three girls, showered us with pink clothes. Dresses, rompers, ruffley socks, onesies that proclaimed “Born to Shop!” I remember my mom calling shortly after Lydia was born and she asked me what I was doing and I complained, “Laundry. A load of pinks.”

When Lydia started to lose that newborn squishiness and stretched out into the world a bit, I realized she was beautiful. Yes, I know all moms think their kids are beautiful, but at the risk of sounding like a huge jerk, mine really was.  She had enormous blue eyes surrounded by long dark eyelashes.  Her face had a tiny delicate nose and her chin was slight and angular.  When her hair grew in, it was a mop of amazing blonde ringlets. People would stop me to tell me how stunning she was.

Then a strange thing happened. I started to enjoy clothing her in frilly pink dresses. I attempted to tame those ringlets. I painted her fingernails. I embraced the girliness. Then an even stranger thing happened. I started to wear make-up. I cared about my clothes. I wore pink. Somehow, my daughter became an accessory and I felt obligated to live up to this amazing ornament I had been presented with. I felt like a frumpy housewife who had been given a designer purse and honey, I was going to work that purse.

I still held out hope that she would at least be athletic. We signed her up for soccer and showed up with a water bottle and goldfish crackers, ready to cheer on our protégé. We watched, horrified, as she hid behind trees and ate grass. We cringed as the team took a lap around the field and she was the caboose, looking dreamily at the clouds. We gave in when she asked to take dance lessons instead. I had envisioned cleats and cups, and I was now faced with a reality of tap shoes and tutus.

Jayson and I have obviously had two more girls since Lydia.  Audrey and Charlie. I have several sets of matching dresses for them. We have drawers full of hair ribbons and nail polish. We have more babydolls than we know what to do with, and even a couple Barbies and My Little Ponies.  Last spring, Lydia had her first dance recital the day after I gave birth to Charlie. I made Jayson bring Lydia to the hospital so I could do her hair and give her a little lipstick to wear.  

So, now I have my three girls who I love more than I ever could have imagined. We're done having kids, and I know Jayson is disappointed he doesn't have a boy, but I also know he would give his life for his girls, and I also know he isn't willing to try his luck on a fourth, for fear of ending up with twin girls. We are constantly amazed by the lives we have brought into this world, and every day is an adventure. We sit back and marvel at how quickly they learn, laugh at the goofy things they do, feel our hearts swell as they hug and love each other, and just try to soak it all up before we blink our eyes and they're teenagers.

More Quotes

The other day, Audrey pointed to some freckles on my upper arm and asked what they were. I decided to be goofy and pretended like she was pointing to my arm, not the freckles, and said, "They're muscles!" She got a big smile on her face and said, "They're little ones!"

We were doing pedicures and manicures last week and the girls were telling me their favorite colors. Audrey said, "My favorite color is sparkles!"

Audrey also constantly asks what time it is, even though she has no concept of it. She'll say, "Mommy, what time is it?" and I'll say, "4:23." and she goes, "Oh, 4:23? OK."

Quotes

Part of the reason I wanted to blog was so I could document all the things the girls do. I found I've focused on the big events, and not the day-to-day funny things the girls say, so I'm going to post short quotes more often.

As we were watching the royal wedding on Friday, Lydia heard them say they were in London and she turned to Jayson and said, "Daddy, you've been there! I don't know why they didn't just get married in Madison."

Last Sunday at church, there was a bald lady and Lydia asked me why she was bald and I told her we'd talk about it later. So, later on I explained to her that the woman had cancer like Grandpa did, and when you have cancer, one type of medicine is chemotherapy, and it makes your hair fall out. Later on in the week we went to the grocery store and there was a very butch woman and Lydia said, "Look Mommy, she has cancer too."

Audrey has been telling me, "Mommy, I love you. Even when I'm naughty, I still love you."

I'm Going to be Rich

Somebody get me on the phone with Hollywood because I have an idea for the next big game show. It will be one of those shows where you have to do an impossible task, but if you actually complete it, the audience goes wild and you win $1,000,000. Kind of like Minute to Win It or that crazy Japanese game show Most Extreme Elimination. The task? Put eye drops in Lydia's eyes.

Two weeks ago, Charlie came down with an obvious case of pinkeye. After a visit to the doctor, it was determined she also had an ear infection. So, off to Target we went to get her prescription. The doctor told us that if either of the other two showed signs of it, to just call and they would phone in a prescription for eye drops. So, last week on Tuesday, it became obvious Lydia and Jayson both had it. Lydia's doctor called in a prescription for her, and Jayson's called one in for him. Off to Target we went for two more prescriptions. I tried the old, "Oh, I have a $10 gift card coupon with a new prescription at home..." and the pharmacist nicely told me that I could bring it back with my receipt and they would make the adjustment. Foiled.

Lydia had to miss school on Tuesday, which was the end of the world. She cried, "My friends will ride the bus without me! What will they do at table time!??!" It was awful, but very much needed. I didn't want to be the mom who sent her highly contagious kid to school and contaminated the whole class.

By the end of the day on Tuesday, it was obvious Audrey was also getting pinkeye, so we used Lydia's drops on her. After dinner on Wednesday, Audrey was crying in pain and telling me her ear hurt. I gave her some Ibuprofen and called the doctor and got the last appointment of the day. The doctor told me she had an ear infection, so off to Target for our fourth prescription in about a week. This pharmacist was much nicer than the other one and told me that he would give me a coupon if I told him a good joke. Luckily, Audrey is practically a stand-up comedian with a cache of 1.5 jokes, and she busted out her best. ("Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Boo!" "Boo who?" "STOP CRYING!" HAHAHAHAHA.) The next day, a student told me she saw me at Target, but didn't say hi because I was running down the aisle with the cart while Audrey yelled for me to go faster. Ha. Oops.

Luckily, the medications are working. It's pretty much a miracle, because I think only about 10% of the eye drops actually made it into Lydia's eye. We started by holding her down and forcing them in, but the screams and the looks of terror were too much. We let her close her eyes and then put them in the inside corner and then let her "blink" them in. It actually started working, but took about three drops in each eye to get enough in. Audrey did really well with them, opening her eyes wide and then laughing when the drops went in.

Now everybody is pretty much healed except for a lingering cough and a few more doses of amoxicillin. We also have $20 in Target gift cards for our trouble. Not quite the $1,000,000 I would win on my game show, but I'll take it.

The Things Kids Say

One day last week I made breakfast for dinner. French toast. The girls love breakfast foods. Actually, the girls love syrup. Sometimes they will finish their pancakes and I'll turn around to catch them licking syrup off their plates. As the meal was winding down, Lydia asked for more and I told her, "Sorry sweetie, it's all gone." She furrowed her brow, curled her lip, and yelled, "Dammit!" 

I, of course, laughed. Jayson held a straight face and explained to her that that word is grown-up word and kids don't use it. She asked excitedly if she could say it when she's a grown-up and we told her she could. Jayson asked her where she heard that word as I thought to myself, "Don'tsayMommy. Pleasedon'tsayMommy." She told us it was a boy from school. 

Audrey, who can one minute be throwing a raging, screaming, crying, lying-on-the-ground-kicking-her-feet tantrum, and then the next minute be cuddling up into your side and telling you how much she loves you, has been saying something very sweet lately. On Saturday, my grandma was here for the girls' birthday party. She always brings massive quantities of junk for them that she keeps running out to her car to get. Her car is like a clown car with its capacity to store small, tacky, and slightly scary things. One of the things she brought in was a Minnie Mouse costume. She asked if I wanted it for the girls, and I told her I would take it since they love to dress up so much.

After everybody left, I started cleaning up and moved some of the clothes from Grandma towards the basement to be washed. I showed Audrey the dress and told her Great-Grandma got it for her. She got a concerned look on her face and told me, "Oh! I didn't say thank you to her!" Awww. I told her it was OK, and we would tell her next time.

Yesterday, a package arrived from my younger sister with some random fun toys for the girls including a very cool toy that spins around and lights up when you hold it and push the button. I told Audrey it was from her cousin Aidan and again, she looked so concerned and told me, "I didn't say thank you!" I assured her we would Skype him soon and we could thank him. She asked all night if we could Skype Aidan and say thank you.

This is the Story of Two Sisters...

One of my favorite books to read the girls is one called, "Sisters" by David McPhail. It starts with "This is the story of two sisters who, in many ways, were different." It then lists the many ways they were different. One was big (Lydia), one was little (Audrey.) One liked to wear two different colored socks (not really Audrey), one didn't like to wear socks (or shoes) at all (definitely Lydia.) One liked baseball (Audrey seems to be the one more interested in sports), the other found it boring (Lydia has very little interest in sports and during soccer practice has been known to hide behind trees and eat grass.) It then goes on to say, "The two sisters were alike in many ways, too." They both like sugar-snap peas fresh from the garden, both like to help bake cookies, both like to play in puddles and piles of leaves, both like to draw and dance. At the end, it says, "But the way they were most alike was the most special way o fall. Because, you see, they loved each other so very much," which will on occasion make me tear up just a little bit if I'm feeling particularly emo that night.

The book came to mind yesterday. Grandma Deb came to visit and watch the girls last night. As usual, she brought a surprise for them. As usual, Lydia begged to see what it was and we told her to stop being rude. Grandma Deb finally went out to her car to bring the surprise in and unveiled two new baby dolls. Audrey got a huge smile on her face and her eyes widened and she gasped, "Thank you!" Lydia looked at it in disgust and started crying. Lydia hates dolls. Audrey loves dolls. Audrey has always loved to cuddle things (see previous blog entry.) She often carries dolls around the house and feeds them, tucks them into bed, reads to them, rocks them, etc. She even has one doll that she always brings to church.

She was pretty excited when Charlie was born and she got a real live baby doll.

Lydia, on the other hand, would much rather play games, do art projects, or play dress-up. She has a large collection of dolls she has gotten as gifts and really has no interest in them at all. Every once in a while, if Audrey is playing with a doll, Lydia will too, but never really does it on her own. I once found one of Lydia's dolls shoved into a corner behind a box and I asked her why her doll was there and she said, "Oh. That's its home." She does like to pretend Audrey is her daughter and will pretend to put her down for a nap and drop her off at school, but she has no interest at all in her dolls.

And of course, they love each other so very much.