Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Last of the Big Girl Beds

The crib we used for all three girls converts to a full size bed. Last summer, I ordered the conversion kit so we would be ready whenever we decided to switch Charlie from her crib to a bed. I would prefer to just leave her in her crib until she's old enough to understand how wonderful beds are, but the dang thing (Charlie) keeps growing. So, we decided it's time. We also decided summer would be the transition period, when both of us are home and able to deal with the complete insanity of a two year-old at bedtime. Last night we discussed the fact that this week we would have a few late nights, with it being the 4th of July and us having various parties to attend. We figured it would be a perfect time to start the transition, when we knew she would be tired and not up for too much of a struggle.

We just needed to get a full size mattress and box spring. I decided to assemble the bed frame before we went to get the mattress so when we got home we would just need to plop the mattress in and call it a night. I very quickly realized our conversion kit did not have the necessary parts. We were missing the parts that allowed us to screw the side slats into the headboard and footboard. We were also missing some of the hardware pictured in the manual. We attempted to put the frame together using only the wooden dowels for the connections, but then we found that the slats that go across the frame to hold the box spring were too long. I called Buy Buy Baby, where we had ordered the conversion kit. The very helpful lady told me they would order a new one for us right away. It would be here in 14 to 16 weeks. As in more than three months. As in October. I asked her if there was anyway to get it sooner and explained to her that we were sitting with a half assembled bed, a half disassembled crib, a two year-old who needed a place to sleep tonight, and a husband who wasn't going to deal with putting a two year-old in a bed in the fall when I would barely even be home with school and cross country. She said she would try to expedite the order. It didn't sound very promising. Sorrelle cribs and Buy Buy Baby, I am not happy with either of you.

So, we decided we would just do half-ass job putting the bed together and let her sleep in it. Yes. We did. We even said out loud, "Well, if it falls, she's only six inches off the ground." Yes. We said that. We were experiencing enormous amounts of stress and that disappointed feeling when it seems like you should have had a handle on something but then it all just goes to shit. We were going to put the bed together without screws and run the slats at an angle.

We loaded up the car and headed to Big Lots because they had Serta mattresses on sale. If you have insider information that buying mattresses at Big Lots is the stupidest idea ever, please do not tell me because I just need to believe that it was a good decision. I'll tell you what is stupid, though. 99% of the people working at Big Lots. We went to the store, which is just a couple miles from our house. We scoped out the mattresses. I asked an associate at the front checkouts if somebody could help us and she paged somebody. A few minutes later, the teenage boy she paged walked towards us at a speed that would make you think he was running some sort of reverse race where the goal was to take the longest amount of time to get from point A to point B. I told him the mattress we were interested in. He went to the back storage area. He returned about five minutes later. "Yeah. We don't have that one in the full. But we do have queen if you're interested in that." Oh yes! Wonderful! Could you please get me a queen size mattress for my full size bed? That sounds perfect!

Meanwhile, our normally somewhat well-behaved kids were climbing all over the furniture at Big Lots and even running up and down aisles. I asked him to check the back and see which mattresses they did have in full size. He came back five minutes later to let me know that one of the mattresses that was $80 more was available in a full.  He told us, "The other Big Lots has it." Not, "Hey, let me call the other Big Lots to see if they have it." Not, "The other Big Lots might have it." He told us the other Big Lots had it. Jayson asked, "Where is that one? By the stadium?" and the kid confirmed that was where the other Big Lots was.

Back in the car, and we headed towards the stadium. Once we got close, I pulled out the navigator on my phone and looked up directions. There was no Big Lots by the stadium. In fact, the other Big Lots was 17 minutes from the stadium, according to my phone. We pulled into a Wendy's and Jayson got Frostys for everybody. Because that's what you do when everything else is going wrong. Eat ice cream. Then we headed towards the other Big Lots.

We got there and the girls were covered in melted Frostys. So we gave them a baby wipe sponge bath and went into the store. We asked for somebody to help us with the mattresses. It took a while, but somebody finally came. They had NO mattresses in a full size. None. Back to the car.

We drove back to the original Big Lots by our house and decided to buy the one that was a little more expensive. It was after 7:00, the kids were being awful, and Charlie still needed something to sleep on. I tracked down the big dumb kid again and he went back to get the mattress we wanted. I explained to him that we needed the mattress and the box spring. I had caught onto the mental capacity we were working with and clearly explained, "We need the mattress and the box spring. The sign here says it's called a 'foundation.' There should be two pieces." He returned with the mattress and asked us if we wanted him to bring it up front. No. Please, leave it here. I think we will just camp out here at Big Lots for the night. Once we got up front, I told him, "And the box spring? We need the box spring too." He looked surprised, as if this was a new development to him, and went back to get the box spring. He returned after a few minutes. No box spring. They were out.

I almost threw a tantrum in the store. Then, the girl working at the service desk took over. She determined that they were out of box springs. She called the third Big Lots in the area and they were also out. She told us she would give us the sale price and we could come back for the box spring when their delivery came. Yes. Perfect. Done.

We came home with the mattress. We tried to put it on our jerry-rigged bed and the bed fell apart. We tried to put it back together (oh, yes, we did!) and attempted it again, and it fell apart again. We came to the realization that even if we could get the mattress to balance on the frame, it probably wasn't safe for sleeping. So, we put the frame downstairs and Jayson got an old metal frame from the garage and cleaned it up. We did have to improvise with some wooden slats, but it was stable. We made the bed. Charlie laughed and cheered and climbed into it.

Once it was time to sleep, she was not so excited about it. Jayson spent about fifteen minutes putting her back in bed and telling her not to get out, but it eventually stuck. She is currently sleeping very soundly in her big girl bed. The plan is to get the box spring this week, and then in a few months when the new conversion kit comes in, we'll switch her to the nice wooden frame and headboard.

I am currently exhausted and will now be going to bed in my big girl bed.




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