So Pretty

Audrey is a very funny, smart, caring, and pretty girl. She tells jokes and laughs and laughs at them, she is quickly learning letters and numbers and words, she has a very special bond with both her sisters, and she was blessed with her daddy's big green eyes.

She recently went through a stage where she refused to wear jeans. She told me, "Mommy, can you take care of all my jeans?" I asked her what she meant by "take care" of them, and with a whisk of her hand, she said, "Just get rid of them. Give them to Charlie." So, I packed away her jeans which were just taking up space in her drawer, and got what she called "comfy pants" at Target. The comfy pants stage lasted a few weeks and then she decided all she wanted to wear was skirts and dresses. Lydia never went through a skirts and dresses stage, so I didn't have many. We took a trip to the children's resale shop and I got her about a dozen dresses, a handful of skirts, and leggings to wear with them. Now, she insists on wearing dresses daily or skirts with "pretty shirts" which means they have princesses on them.

I wasn't too concerned with the dress-wearing until she started to constantly ask me if she's pretty. She would get dressed and ask me if she was pretty. I would do her hair and she would ask me if it was pretty. I was a little concerned about the obsession. One day I asked her, "Audrey, would you rather be pretty or smart?" She replied, "Pretty!" without even a moment to consider the options. Lydia said, "No, Audrey, the right answer is smart." I told Jayson my concerns and he informed me that it's all because of one of Audrey's friends at the gym. Apparently, this little girl has told Audrey that jeans are not pretty. Then she started telling Audrey that she has to wear dresses to be pretty. My heart sank. She loves her little friend at the gym, but I don't know her mom and wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her about it, and I don't even know what I would say anyway.

I definitely want Audrey to feel pretty and know she is beautiful both inside and out. I keep trying to tell her that she can wear whatever she wants and still be pretty. Lydia told her, "Audrey, we're always pretty. We can wear anything and still be pretty." It might sound a little bit boastful, but that's the attitude I want them to have! I never want them to feel anything less than pretty, and I also don't want them to think that "pretty" is some goal that they have to strive to reach.

So, I'm kind of at a loss. Audrey will continue to go to the gym, will continue to play with her friend, and will continue to be told that she has to wear dresses to be pretty. On my end, I will just try to keep reinforcing that her friend is wrong, and I will keep telling her that she is smart, funny, and nice too.