Lunchtime Limits

Jayson tries to pack cold lunches for the girls every day. The hot lunches at our school are great, but just a little bit less healthy than how we eat at home. Jayson packed Lydia a tuna salad wrap on Wednesday. She decided at school that she did not like it, so she bought hot lunch. We explained to her that she can't do that because it's a waste of money and she would take that same tuna salad wrap the next day (which she loved, by the way). That night, after Jayson was gone, I told Lydia that I was going to "freeze her lunch account" and she would not be allowed to buy anything except for milk, so she shouldn't even try to.

On Friday, we were in desperate need of groceries, so Jayson decided to let the girls have hot lunch. He called me at school.

Jayson: Hi. Lydia is going to have hot lunch today, so she insisted I call you to have you unfreeze her account.
Me: Oh. Yeah. That was big fat lie.
Jayson: Yes, I understand that. But, that doesn't change the fact that I have to call you and have you unfreeze her account.
Me: Oooooooh! Yeah! Beep Beep Boop Beep. I just pushed the unfreeze button!
Jayson: Thank you.
Me: You're welcome.

Raising Strong Girls

In October of 2011, I ran the Milwaukee Marathon. I followed a training schedule and made sure I would be prepared for it. That meant giving up several long mornings to fit in 20-mile runs, which also left me pretty exhausted for the rest of the day. It was difficult balancing my family with my training. Months of preparation, both physically and mentally went into the run and I felt like it was a huge accomplishment. I was proud of myself. However, what made me the proudest was not that I finished for myself, or my husband, or the friends and kids on my cross country came who watched me run. It was seeing my three girls as I ran that last leg to the finish that brought tears to my eyes. Knowing that they saw their mom do something that a lot of people can't do and something that took determination and goals and literal blood, sweat and tears to do, made me feel like I accomplished something huge as a mom.

I often try to show my girls that women can do anything. I tell them they can be anything they want to be. They can be a doctor, a teacher, a firefighter, a waitress, or even the president. I make sure they know that I can do stuff around the house just like Daddy can and even though Daddy can run and bike faster than me, I still run and bike the hardest I can. This past week, I built a small brick wall by our patio and I had to chisel two bricks in half to complete it and Lydia told me there's no way I could cut a brick in half, but I made sure that once I did, she saw it and she knew that something she thought was impossible actually wasn't.

I let them choose to wear whatever they want. Audrey is a huge fan of dresses and skirts. For her birthday, she wanted a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle T-shirt. When the grandma of one of the kids who came to Audrey's birthday party asked me for some gift ideas, I listed a bunch of things and kind of threw that in as an afterthought, "Oh, you know what else? She said she wants a Ninja Turtle T-shirt." I'm so glad that grandma got Audrey not one but TWO Ninja Turtle T-shirts that Audrey just loves to wear. Often with skirts.

I know it's not a new idea to try to raise strong girls, but I feel like I didn't become a very strong person until later in life. Not any fault of my own mother, but I was just a very quiet kid and not very outgoing. I was very self-conscious.  Team sports embarrassed me because I was never as good as the other kids on the team. Individual sports were absolutely terrifying. I rarely spoke up for myself and was fine not rocking the boat. That's not how my girls are, and I hope they continue to be strong in whatever they do. And I hope that years down the road, they will be grateful for my role in what they became. 

Latest Interviews

I like to interview the girls a couple of times a year just to document what's going on in their lives and what they're like. So, here are today's interviews. My favorite is the last one, which is Lydia interviewing Audrey while Charlie behaves like... well, Charlie.

Lydia's interview:

Audrey's interview:

Charlie's interview:

Lydia interviewing Audrey:

More From the Girl with the Camera

Lydia has been quite the shutterbug lately. Here are some more examples of her work.

I will spare you the following:

• Several pictures of her name on various pieces of paper from school.
• Several pictures of her room.
• 115 blurry pictures from the Prom grand march at my school. Most with people in them. In some, you can even tell who the people are. Also, a 27-second video. She did get some actual clear shots of the king and queen being crowned.
• Several pictures of TV shows on the TV. I'll include this one though, because I like Audrey's cameo.

Here are some she took with Charlie:

This video had me laughing until I cried. I have no words.

There's another one very similar to it that I can't post because Jayson is shirtless in the background and he would be pissed, but imagine almost the same video with him walking through in the background with no indication that he is aware of the weirdness our daughter is displaying other than one single confused glance in her direction and then he continues to go about his business. I'm pretty sure that will be his disposition 99% of the time when they're teenagers.

This instructional video of her letting the dog out. I know my phone number is at the end, so don't try anything fancy.

Let the Activities Begin

Our first full week of summer vacation and we hit the ground running. Lydia has baseball Monday through Thursday in the morning and games will be Thursday nights starting in a couple weeks. Audrey has tee ball every Wednesday night. Lydia and Audrey have swim lessons every day before lunch. Lydia has violin on Thursday mornings. Charlie comes along for the ride because by the third child we figured out that paying $75 to go in a pool with your kid and sing, "Look Who Came to Swim Today," isn't worth it when you can just go swimming by your dang self and toss her in the water.

I LOVE keeping the girls busy. They are occupied, they fight less, they don't get out every single toy we own and leave it in the front yard, and they are EXHAUSTED by bed time. Like, their head hits the pillow and they're out.

A few things that have happened this week:

• Lydia has Coach Nick for baseball again. Lydia LOOOOOOVES Coach Nick and Coach Nick has a soft spot for Lydia too. It's a good situation.
• Jayson and I have been taking turns biking to baseball with Lydia and then going on a ride while she has her practice. Biking with a child is not easy. Unless the road is completely flat. If it's uphill, her legs hurt. If it's downhill, she's scared. But, she's getting the hang of it. I'm amazed at how far she has come this spring.
• Audrey passed Lydia in swim lessons on the second day. When it happened, Lydia was OK with it and figured she would just pass to the next level the next day. She didn't. Audrey was in the deep end learning the freaking front crawl while Lydia was bobbing with her kick board. It was humbling for her. And heartbreaking for me. I wanted to tell Audrey how amazing it was that she passed a 7 year-old and was already in level 4, but it was hard to do when the 7 year-old was Lydia. It was a good opportunity for me to talk to Lydia about many things, including: Staying positive, not worrying about others, staying focused when she's supposed to be listening, and emphasizing her strengths. She asked me in tears, "Tell me again all the things I'm better at than Audrey."
• Audrey is a fish. She would wear her swim cap and goggles all day long if we let her.
• We have a playdate tomorrow with one of Audrey's friends. His mom told me that she thinks he would die if he had to go the whole summer without seeing Audrey. We can't let that happen. This kid is awesome and I can't wait to have him over. When Audrey had her birthday party, he was super into the water, so we're planning on a lot of water play again. Audrey wants to have a lot of playdates this summer, so I'm going to try to do one every week or so. 

Summer Vacation!

The girls and I had our last day of school last week Wednesday. Jayson and I are very, very fortunate to have jobs that allow us to be home with our girls all summer. We were so excited for this summer because the girls are finally at an age where we can plan activities with very few restrictions. No diapers, no nap times, no strollers. I have a whole list of things to do stored on my computer. Here is what we have done so far.

Wednesday: After school, I went out for a beer with my coworkers. We do it every last day of school and it's a nice kick-off to the summer. When I got home, the whole family went to Orange Leaf for a fundraiser for The Scenic Shore 150.

Thursday: I had to clean the house. I have a good dose of OCD and ADD in me and I simply cannot live in a good head space when my house is messy. Once I was able to finish cleaning, I felt like summer actually started. I ended the day with a meeting for the cross country team to kick-off our summer training.

Friday: Jayson had a doctors appointment in the morning, then we made a family run to Target. We took the girls out to lunch at one of their favorite pizza places.

Saturday: Audrey had a birthday party to go to, and then we went to a party at a friend's house. They do yard olympics. I had to miss it last year with my emergency appendectomy, but this year Jayson and I won! I also ran into a former student, who was a senior my first year teaching, and is now 24, out of college, and a real person, which is weird. The girls had so much fun at the party playing with the other kids, and again, Jayson and I were reminded of how nice it was for them to be old enough to go off on their own.

Sunday: Father's Day! The art museum had free admission and the girls' favorite band, Fox and Branch was playing. They had a lot of activities for kids and we had a blast. Then we went to the Third Ward to have lunch at the Ale House. The service was terrible and the kitchen was backed up. We waited forever. Luckily, the girls were still going strong and we didn't have any meltdowns.

And today... We began Lydia's baseball season. She got her favorite coach from last year, Coach Nick, and was absolutely ecstatic. Then we began a two-week swim lesson session for Lydia and Audrey. They are the only ones in their class! So, they got a lot of attention and had a blast. They can't wait to go back tomorrow. We had planned on using a Groupon that expired today for pizza and bowling, but the place was closed. A bit of a bummer, but we were close enough to Uncle Kyle's shop to stop by for a visit, then came home to play and mow the lawn.

The girls already are slightly bronzed and exhausted every night, which is how summer is supposed to be! After weeks of getting up at 6:00am, Charlie slept past 8:00 today.

The Day We Rewarded Our Daughter for Mediocre Behavior

Lydia has had her ups and downs at school. We've struggled with poor behavior (mostly not doing what she's supposed to be doing and ignoring efforts to get her on track). We've found a system of rewards and consequences that works well for her and have often bribed her with rewards for a good week at school. It works well and she has come a long way from last year.

Audrey has had absolutely no behavior problems at all. She is a star student. Teachers love her. Other parents compliment us. She loves school and gets off the bus with a huge smile on her face, ready to tell us all about her day. Her teacher has different levels of behavior, with Double Outstanding Choices at the top, followed by Outstanding Choices, Good Choices, Ready to Learn, Turn Your Day Around, and then a level or two lower than that. I don't even know what the lower levels are because Audrey has never ended her day on anything lower than Good Choices. She comes home so excited to tell us what she was on for the day, and even Charlie questions her when she gets off the bus, "Outstanding Choices today, Audrey? Or Good Choices?" Audrey tells us all about the kids who end up on Ready to Learn or lower and talks about them like they have fallen from grace.

Yesterday, Audrey got moved to Turn Your Day Around for talking during carpet time. It was devastating. She eventually moved up to Ready to Learn, but it was still the worst day in her little 4K life. She got off the bus so upset and cried when she told Jayson what happened. Jayson emailed her teacher about something unrelated, but mentioned Audrey's day, and when Mr. K responded, he told Jayson how upset Audrey was at the end of the day and he had talked to her about how it's OK and tomorrow would be a new day and she could do better. He also seemed to feel awful that she felt so bad about it.

When Jayson told me about Audrey's mood when she got off the bus and forwarded me the email, I felt so bad for her. If only she knew what we dealt with with Lydia. Then she would realize that in the grand scheme of things, she was actually doing an amazing job.

So, we did the only rational thing. We took her out for ice cream. We told her how great her behavior was and how proud we are of her for always being so good. Her sisters also had good days, so they got ice cream too. Ice cream for everybody! All because Audrey behaved just OK.

Lydia: Future Internet Phenomenon

Lydia asked Grandma Deb for a digital camera for her birthday, and Grandma Deb did not disappoint. Lydia is obsessed with the camera and is plowing through batteries like crazy. I got a chance to take a look at her pictures and found that she's pretty much got the digital picture thing down. She asked me to put them on the internet. So, here are the classic pictures that every internet poster needs. Here we go:

1) Picture of a picture.

2) Picture of food:

3) Picture of friend making a "duck face":

4) Creeping on the neighbors:

5) Your parents looking stupid:

6) Selfie.

She's ready for Facebook!

SPRING!

Today, spring came. We've been anxiously awaiting it. Today it was here. The girls were up early, but we had to go to the bank to close on a loan (thanks to the 40 days and 40 nights of rain that got in the way of spring's arrival and also came in through our basement walls, requiring over $10,000 in repairs). Then, Lydia had a birthday party to go to.

While Lydia was at her party, Charlie and Audrey were completely blissed out playing in the yard. We gave them spray bottles, because spray bottles keep kids busy for hours. They spray everything. Including each other, which we try to discourage, but really, who can blame them? They spray trees. They spray the deck. They spray the house. It's like it's their job to spray things.

When Lydia got home from her party, their was more playing outside and more spraying. Also more fighting, but that happens when all three are together. We grilled burgers and ate on the deck. Finally, we came in and threw all three girls in the shower and hosed them down. There was dirt, there was leaves, there were scraped knees. I put "Magic Owie Lotion" on the scrapes and we cuddled up on the couch to watch a show (America's Funniest Videos) before they went to bed. Shortly after the show started, Charlie asked to go to bed. SHE ASKED TO GO TO BED. So, we got Charlie to bed. When the show was over, the other two were asleep before their heads hit their pillows.

A successful welcoming of spring!

New Heights

We joined our gym a little over five years ago, when Lydia was almost two. One thing we really like is the pool. It has a zero-depth entry and equipment for the kids to play on. It also has a water slide. You have to be 48" tall to go down the water slide. Lydia has been looking forward to the day when she would be tall enough for quite a while. Every time we went swimming, she would check her height, and when we shook our head, she would be disappointed.

Then Sunday night it happened. She went to measure her height and stood as tall as she could, and she was tall enough! Well, almost. I think she was a little short, but it was close enough. Then she wimped out and decided she didn't want to go down the slide. Finally, Jayson went down first and then she followed and she loved it. She spent the whole rest of our time there going down the slide and telling us how awesome it was. It was so fun to see how much she loved it. Now she keeps asking when we can go back.

Shower Shaming

I debated blogging about this conversation because, well, pubic hair. But, I decided it must be blogged because it made me laugh a lot. This occurred when I took a shower with Audrey the other day because we were short on time and, well, she stunk. Kid needed a shower, but so did I, and time was tight, so two birds, one stone.

A: what's that? 
Me: My belly button. What else would it be?
A: Your penis?
Me: Girls don't have penises.

A: your belly is very big.
Me: I know. But I've seen bigger.
A: Yeah, but you eat A LOT. 

A: Why is your vagina hairy? 
Me: That happens when you get older. You get hair in your armpits and on your vagina.
A: Can I see the hair in your armpits?
Me: You can't really see it because I shaved it.
A: You need to shave your vagina.
Me: Yeah, I will soon.
Audrey: you're going to have to be like SHAVE SHAVE SHAVE SHAVE (as she is saying this, she is waving her arms around like I'm going to need a machete to do it.)

A: I didn't notice your big boobies.
Me: You didn't?
A: No. I just saw those little things.
Me: My nipples? You have them too.
A: These are my nipples? 
Me: Yes. 
A: Some day will I have big boobies like you?
Me: Yes, some day.
A: I'll have big boobies when I'm 13!
Me: Probably not that soon.

Birthdays

Birthday season is upon us! Lydia turned seven on Saturday and Charlie turned three today. Audrey will turn five in June. I feel like we have moved beyond the baby stage and into the solid childhood years. The years where they will go from diapers to training bras in a blink of an eye. I'm not ready for it. Jayson has started to try to get Charlie to stop sucking her thumb, and I will have no part in it. The way her thumb migrates to her mouth and her fingers migrate to her earlobe, which she holds when she's tired, just melts me. At the same time, I don't want to deal with the stress of a newborn. I love the freedom and independence this new stage is bringing. I'm looking forward to our first summer without daily naps, so we can go on afternoon excursions whenever we like.

Lydia is such a girl now and it scares the shit out of me. I want to do everything I can to protect her. My heart beats extra fast thinking of her going somewhere without me. At the same time, I don't want to shelter her. I want her to have new experiences and be able to do things on her own and develop her own ideas and thoughts and know what it feels like to miss me, but also to be able to have fun without me. I try to ask about her feelings, her friends, her thoughts, without making it obvious that we are going to sit down and have a conversation. She has had a very interesting social experience so far. She has had few close friends and the relationships have been complicated. She has many friends, but has yet to find that one or two true best friends. She gets invited to parties, is well-like in her class, and plays nice with other kids, but I think she is very unique in the way she approaches relationships and it's interesting for me to watch. She especially seems to get along with kids who are younger than her and kind of takes them under her wing. She also responds well to kids who are several years older than her.

Audrey is the kind of kid who everybody loves, but she doesn't seem to realize that. She's smart and funny and just constantly happy. Other parents of kids in her class have commented to Jayson and I how much they love Audrey or how much their kids love Audrey. She loves school too. She can't wait to tell us about her day. She loves to eat and would eat all day long if we let her. Her favorite food is brussel sprouts. When we brought a dish to pass to a football party, she insisted on brussel sprouts, so we brought microwavable steamer bags and she ate most of them. Don't worry, we brought other food too. She refused to wear jeans. She picked out the perfect birthday gifts for her sisters without any help from us and watched with joy as they opened them. She's also very sensitive. Any time we raise our voice or her sisters leave her out, she gets very upset. When she's crying the "don't you laugh!" trick doesn't work for her like it does for most kids. She will even at times tell me, "I just need some alone time," and will disappear into her room and talk to her stuffed animals.

Charlie is incredibly goofy. She imitates her sisters and tries to repeat her jokes but usually gets mixed up. She loves to snuggle. Most kids her age want to walk everywhere by themselves. She wants us to pick her up and carry her. Since she's my baby, I usually do. She has a belly laugh that fills a room. She laughs when she farts. She picked yogurt with blueberries for her birthday dinner. She likes to sing songs and dance, but if you catch her and ask her to do it again, she won't. She loves the water. She can count to 30 and knows all her letters. She can spell her name and a few other words. Her favorite song is "The Wheels on the Bus," and she loves Yo Gabba Gabba and America's Funniest Videos, which she will tell you is AFV.

As we move towards summer, I'm planning on writing more. Before the time is gone and I wonder what the hell happened.

A 4 Year-Old Love Triangle

Jayson usually volunteers in Audrey's classroom once a month. This month he's insanely busy with taxes, so I took a personal day to volunteer. Audrey asked me for weeks when I was going to teach her class. I kept explaining that I would be a helper, not a teacher, but she still asked every day. When the big day finally came, her teacher and student teacher told me that Audrey had been so excited every day and counted down the days to me coming in.

Audrey has twins in her class, Ethan and Preston, and she is constantly talking about them. She walks around the house singing, "Audrey and Ethan and Preston sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." I keep trying to explain to her that that's not quite how it works, but she insists it's fine. It just so happened that Ethan and Preston's mom was also volunteering on the same day I did. She immediately told me that the boys talk about Audrey constantly at home and I told her we get the same thing about Ethan and Preston in our house. I got the pleasure of working on a dinosaur puzzle with Preston, and I have to admit, Audrey has good taste. The kid was smart, polite, and very sweet.

Ethan and Preston's told me a story about how they Skyped with some of their family and they asked Ethan (or maybe it was Preston?) if he had a girlfriend. He immediately told them that Audrey was his girlfriend and they all laughed and thought it was sweet. Then they asked Preston (or Ethan?) if he had a girlfriend and he got a little flustered and said, "Well I like Audrey too!"

I was just cleaning up some papers the girls had left out and came across this gem:

Charlie is Insane

Charlie is now just a couple months shy of turning three. And she is completely and totally crazy. She walks around the house saying completely goofy and unexpected things. She growls at people. She yells at her sisters. She gives the BEST hugs and then quickly transitions into digging her fingernails into your face. While growling. She is a maniac at the pool and flops herself into the water head first and hangs out beneath the surface until she needs a breath. Then she jumps on you and forces your head under the water while growling, "You lay down in the water now." She pees her pants and then walks around like nothing happened and she isn't leaving huge wet spots behind her. She pretends our foam roller is her boyfriend. She freaks out and says she absolutely does not want that book by her and when you move it, she cries because she wants the book. Right by her. She makes silly faces and her favorite is one where she rolls her eyes up into her head.

Oh, it's 2013

So, Christmas and New Years happened and I didn't post anything. I always look forward to winter break. I love Christmas. I love spending a ton of time with our family and getting to see them in the morning. Today was my first day back at work and it was so hard to leave a sleeping house. Here is a recap of some of the things we did...

We visited Santa. Some enjoyed the visit more than others.

Santa came!

We played in the snow.

Friends from Madison came to visit.

We visited friends in Green Bay.

Charlie was overserved.

I redid our bathroom cabinets!