When Mama Bear Attacks

OK, so I shouldn't really say "attack," more like "just deals with the situation," but attack was catchier. A couple Fridays ago, Lydia got off the bus and as soon as she saw me, she burst into tears. She told me the boy who lives across the street was teasing and bullying her on the bus. He and another boy would sing, "Lydia has a boyfriend! Lydia has a boyfriend!" and taunt her. She said she plugged her ears really hard but she could still hear it. I asked her if she sits next to him, and she told me she does. I asked her if she has told anybody and she said she hadn't.

As a teacher, I get annoyed when parents fight their kids' battles, especially at the high school level. I know Lydia is only five, but I didn't want to step in quite yet. So, I told her that on Monday I don't want her sitting next to him on the bus and I wanted her to tell the bus driver and her teacher what was going on. On Monday she got off the bus and was upset again. She said he still teased her, even though she didn't sit by him and she told the bus driver and her teacher. I convinced her to give it one more day and explained that maybe they didn't have a chance to talk to him yet.

I did get advice from others on what to do. Teaching her to kick him in the balls was not an option for me. I'm a pretty hardcore pacifist. One of my students suggested that I teach her to respond to his "Lydia has a boyfriend" taunts with "Yeah, your dad!" (ala a "your mom" joke), which I found funny, but didn't really think it would be effective. I did, however, instruct her to tell him that if he doesn't stop, her mom is going to talk to his mom and her mom is the meanest mom around. "Buy you're not, you're nice! She argued," and I assured her that I could be very, very mean.

Then Tuesday came and she once again got off the bus upset. So, we dropped off her backpack, Jayson gave me a look like, "You're really doing this? This is really happnening?" and Lydia and I marched across the street. Lydia skipped happily and I internalized all my nervousness about just how terribly wrong this could go. We rang the doorbell and waited. When the boy's mom came to the door, I tried to slowly blurt out, "Hi, I live across the street and Lydia rides the bus with your son and she said he's been teasing her on the bus and she's been coming home crying and very upset. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but thought it might be something we could resolve." She immediately called her son to the door and as soon as he saw Lydia and me and realized that the meanest mom around was talking to his mom, his lip quivered and he held back tears. His mom told him what he was doing was completely unacceptable and made him apologize. Lydia responded, "That's OK." I thanked her for understanding and Lydia and I happily walked back home.

She hasn't had any more problems with the boy across the street.