Dance Party

One of my favorite memories growing up was when my mom was either cleaning or baking and she would turn off the TV and crank up the stereo. The stereo was older than me, taking up a large amount of floor space, very similar to this one:

The 8-track player was not in use, but the record player was fully functional. Some of the better records we listened to were the Big Chill soundtrack and music from the Moonlighting TV show. Whitney Houston and Elvis got some play as well. I remember my sisters and I dancing around the house as my mom belted out such gems as "Good Lovin'," and we would throw our arms up to her and beg her to dance with us, and she would happily oblige, throwing us around the kitchen and singing emphatically to us, "You make me feel like a natural woman..."

Now, the girls and I have our own dance parties, but it's the laptop on the counter spewing out music via Youtube or Spotify. Jayson doesn't get in on the dancing, but he does suggest songs. Each girl has their own dance techniques. As soon as Charlie hears the music, she comes running from whichever corner of the house she is in, laughing hysterically as she throws her stiff arms and legs all over the place, performing a kind of funky Frankenstein dance. Audrey is much more soulful, holding her fake microphone, she squeezes her eyes shut and lip-syncs as she rolls her head around and her hair (which she refuses to to wear back) falls all over the place. Lydia spins. That's her move. She spins and spins until she's a turning pile of Lydia on the floor. All three of them throw their arms up and beg me to dance with them and I happily oblige, and remember my mom grabbing me and lifting me up and dancing like crazy, and that feeling of pure joy.

When Mama Bear Attacks

OK, so I shouldn't really say "attack," more like "just deals with the situation," but attack was catchier. A couple Fridays ago, Lydia got off the bus and as soon as she saw me, she burst into tears. She told me the boy who lives across the street was teasing and bullying her on the bus. He and another boy would sing, "Lydia has a boyfriend! Lydia has a boyfriend!" and taunt her. She said she plugged her ears really hard but she could still hear it. I asked her if she sits next to him, and she told me she does. I asked her if she has told anybody and she said she hadn't.

As a teacher, I get annoyed when parents fight their kids' battles, especially at the high school level. I know Lydia is only five, but I didn't want to step in quite yet. So, I told her that on Monday I don't want her sitting next to him on the bus and I wanted her to tell the bus driver and her teacher what was going on. On Monday she got off the bus and was upset again. She said he still teased her, even though she didn't sit by him and she told the bus driver and her teacher. I convinced her to give it one more day and explained that maybe they didn't have a chance to talk to him yet.

I did get advice from others on what to do. Teaching her to kick him in the balls was not an option for me. I'm a pretty hardcore pacifist. One of my students suggested that I teach her to respond to his "Lydia has a boyfriend" taunts with "Yeah, your dad!" (ala a "your mom" joke), which I found funny, but didn't really think it would be effective. I did, however, instruct her to tell him that if he doesn't stop, her mom is going to talk to his mom and her mom is the meanest mom around. "Buy you're not, you're nice! She argued," and I assured her that I could be very, very mean.

Then Tuesday came and she once again got off the bus upset. So, we dropped off her backpack, Jayson gave me a look like, "You're really doing this? This is really happnening?" and Lydia and I marched across the street. Lydia skipped happily and I internalized all my nervousness about just how terribly wrong this could go. We rang the doorbell and waited. When the boy's mom came to the door, I tried to slowly blurt out, "Hi, I live across the street and Lydia rides the bus with your son and she said he's been teasing her on the bus and she's been coming home crying and very upset. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but thought it might be something we could resolve." She immediately called her son to the door and as soon as he saw Lydia and me and realized that the meanest mom around was talking to his mom, his lip quivered and he held back tears. His mom told him what he was doing was completely unacceptable and made him apologize. Lydia responded, "That's OK." I thanked her for understanding and Lydia and I happily walked back home.

She hasn't had any more problems with the boy across the street.

Your Mom Goes to College

Last night as I was putting Lydia to bed, she started crying. "I don't want to move out when I'm 18." It seems she wants to live in our house forever. I assured her she doesn't ever have to move out and she can live with us forever.

Then she asked me what will happen when she goes to college. I told her there are plenty of colleges around here and she can go to one of them and still live with us! She seemed relieved by this.

Then she asked what will happen if she wants to go to a different college that's far away. "Can you come with me?" YES! I assured her that I would go with her to college.
"You can do that?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"You already went to college."
"Yes, but I can go again!"
"They'll let you do that?"
"YES!"
"Yay! So you can come to college with me and give me kisses?"
"Yes, I'll go to college with you and give you kisses!"

Then she was concerned about how she will get to college.
"Do buses go to college?"
"No, but you'll be old enough to drive."
"Can you just drive me?"
"Yes, I will drive you to college and give you kisses."

I will remind her of this in 12 years.